I am now 27!

Yesterday was my my birthday! And you know what? I feel older! God has grown me alot in the past few weeks, as I said in my last post. I'm actually starting to feel like a woman. Once (not long ago) when I was being prayed for, I was told that God gave her a picture of me. She saw a little girl trapped under a pile of junk, crying to get out. I broke down in tears when she said that. Although, I had never had that exact picture in my mind, it described me to a T. Spiritually, emotionally AND physically. She said the word "clutter" quite a few times. At first I just thought of my house. It was terribly cluttered. But then God showed me other areas in my life. She told me He was showing her unforgiveness. I couldn't think of anyone. I'd been through that. And I'd forgiven everyone I could think of that I needed to. But she said, "You have to forgive yourself." Nail on the head! The devil had told me I was worthless and I believed him. My dad told me I was selfish (when I was a teen) and I ran with it. I looked at who I was. Or who I THOUGHT I was and I hated her. I literally HATED her! She was ugly, selfish, worthless and lazy. She couldn't keep house. She loved herself more than her family. She struggled with lust and, believe it or not, pride. How could ANYONE possibly love her? Let alone the God who created everything!
The lady praying for me told me I had to clean myself out before I could ever keep my house cleaned out. I took a stand. It took me a while to get all the way to my feet. In fact, it was just a couple weeks ago that I really turned it all over to God. Well, maybe not ALL. I'm still in that process. But it's becoming easier everyday!!! I'm learning more about God's character everyday. And He's teaching me more about my own. I'm not that girl I saw myself as. I had been weak when I refused to depend on God and had given into the devil's lies and temptations. But those inadequacies were not who I am. He is showing me that I am a woman of great strength and power. My Daddy is the King of EVERTHING!!! And He loves me unconditionally! And He will never leave me!
This passage is speaking to my heart today.

Psalm 139
1 O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.