I found this article by John Stuart at http://www.helium.com/tm/508566/romans-disappoint-because-poured that really described what I've been going through lately. For a while actually...
Here's a snippet that gives the best discription....
"I came across a new word the other day: acedia. It means spiritual languor.' I guess it's like belief burnout or compassion fatigue. It's when you lose your connection to God, His church or His people, and you end up feeling isolated, vulnerable, and maybe even abandoned.
It's like being in a spiritual wilderness with no sense of direction, focus, or meaning. It's a hard state to be in and a hard experience to endure. Souls can feel lost in acedia, but it seems to be an important part of our spiritual journey and Christian growth."
I can seem to find my grip. I know what I need to do. Be in the Word and in prayer as much as possible. Then why is it that I never seem to find time for those things? And those times when I think I see a light, the next thing I know I'm falling deeper. I don't get it. I really dislike myself. I have for a very long time now.
It's like there's two of me. Unfortunately, the not-so-good one of mee seems to win out more often than not.
1 comments:
I'm really amazed at how so often, our life phases seem to run parallel to one another. I'm right where you are. And can't figure out how to get out.
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